Do your kids, not you a favour and let it go!! Its a sad affair when you watch grown adults let their egos and hurt feelings. Her mother helped her along in her disowning me of course. Because God has changed me and turned everything around. No , you are not unreasonable, your family are betraying you , everyone can understand how you feel when your family pick your ex and his girlfriend over you , you dont have to take all that unnecessary pressure if you see they continue stop hanging out with them , I know it is hard but believe me you will feel better after a while, I was in your situation too and I couldnt believe how my trust and love were betrayed and took long time to get over my feelings for my family but it is over and I feel much better. Your boyfriend's not really doing anything wrong here. This is messed up. (She goes to bars and leaves her 2 young children alone at night age 4 and 8). But theres a way to work around that; that doesnt involve you/her kicking your/her ex out of your/there life entirely. Hes not one hundred percent committed to the relationship. This is my testimony about the marvelous work priest manuka did for me. During the 2nd week he started shacking with a woman he met at a club in my Mothers rental. I was thinking today how odd it is, and how the OP would feel, if she had become very good friends with her brothers wife for 10 years, and without warning they divorced. Now he is all wealthy and still lives in his bubble. Trying to dig out of the depression is hard, doing whats best for you is near impossible. He let her what it would cause, that itd be disrespectful, hurtful if she did it. Is it possible he is a good person, her family are good people, and she has issues she needs to cleanse so she can move forward? Not much you can do about it really, it will probably cause a rift, and like me have very little to do with them any more. Just found this as I was doing my own research. Remember its not the childrens fault and if that could make it together for whatever reasons you should still be friends to a certain extent. In sign #6 Ill explain how you can prevent him from saying these kinds of things in the future. This article seems to be a few years old, so hopefully you have reached out and found some boundaries that your family members respect or found some new, supportive and loyal non- blood relatives to be your real family! While his ex may genuinely like his mother, she also genuinely still likes your boyfriend and is hoping for a reconciliation. My mom confessed a week ago that her and my sister lied to me about why there were no get togethers for the holidays like we usually do. I am experiencing the exact same thing. Her response was that she wouldnt because he would see us hanging out together and we would get back at him that way. YOU have the problemnot everyone else. We may earn a commission from links on this page. What ever happened to family loyalty. If I had have been there at least I could have provided concrete proof for at least some of his lies that they chose to believe over their own daughter/sister. I have been going through the same thing for the past 11 years. My ex and I co-parent well but I just dont want to be around him. And no wonder youd marry someone like that when your family totally disregards your feelings. It has nothing to do with his ex. Definitely a narcissist, he needs to convince all those who know him that the breakdown of the marriage was mainly your fault because, see, how great a guy he is!, I know and understand how you feel. One of my brothers has continued to be in relationship with him. He has moved in with her and her family. You are a strong women. She is his ex for a reason. Also, Im bothered that they rather build a relationship with him instead of my husband. I feel your pain. (Which doesnt change the fact thatits super uncomfortable for you.). Thats really what it comes down to is needing the distance. This will make the girlfriend uncomfortable and you will find that they attend your family functions less and less. Actually, when we got back together I found out they were going to my exes wedding, lol! I think it began when I co-parented I threw all parties, graduation, etc and invited him and his new wife and family because I didnt want too much change for my daughters but I think I gave the ok, its ok to like him and his wife, and chat.. so I take the blame but wanted my kids to always have both parents. Who cares if he's loving with someone else an ex's child, of all people if he isn't expressing the same loving attitude to YOU, his girlfriend. Highly racist and believe Ive sinned against God because my son is part Spanish . Im sorry for what ypu are going through, I also went through a divorce but I took the approach that I wouldnt expect my family nor my kids to take sides. . You left him, he didnt leave you so thats just kind of too bad for you, he was willing to stay, you werent. Oh where to start, he was always in contact with an ex girlfriend, would never talk to me, blamed me for everything that possibly went wrong, drank every day and when he did he was the life of the party as long as others were around but the minute it was just me he became a violent, mean drunk. In short, he hasnt fully processed the whole situation yet. You cant expect them to throw away a good person. I am going through the exact situation! My ex has 8 brothers and sisters but has decided to take my one sister also. Exes can be friends and have no desire or hope of rekindling in the future. Thanks Joanna you nailed it, that about no middle ground, and that you must suck it up. The next thing Id like to say is that you are not alone. When we had to share a room as kids, we had physical fights almost every day. By this time my ex was going thru the motions of pretending to want me to get back with my daughter, but it was smoke and mirrors. They can not be on their own that they have to steel from you, probably make it seem like youre the crazy one for having any boundaries. Such a loss for all of us. I wouldnt mind him hanging out with her family at all if felt the two of them had a good relationship with each other and knowing that she was okay with it, (my ex and I get along fantastically and he has always been welcome to family events with my fiances blessing) but these two are a different story. It is not his family anymore, he shouldnt come to family gatherings thats just nuts. Bless you and stay strong . They just didnt get the emotional trauma I had gone through. Ten years later, I moved back home and nothing has changed. I know how comfortable you feel in that victim role, with your victim mentality, and the my feelings are facts and thats all that matters mentality because you are self-centered and lack empathy. I would be too. That way, the burden is on THEM to ask about your feelings and if they choose to ignore it, then you will know that they KNOW its wrong but ignoring it. Your siblings are selfish not putting themselves in your shoes. What does it mean when your ex boyfriend is seeing someone but tells you not too? She continues to insist that we dont talk to her Ex. they actually really pressure me not to say no and have re-arranged things I said I could not be at until I said yes. None of them and the other 6 adult family members, I cant yet blame, will have anything to do with my wife and I once the disdain is out there. I dont expect you to disown your own blood but that doesnt mean we are still cool. He and his Ex have been best friends for nearly 15 years before and after their relationship. Obsessing over it is a natural response due to cognitive dissonance which is where your brain literally cant comprehend the opposing facts of this person that said they loved me but they in fact abused me and they abused me more when I stood up to them. Would you like your family to? I raised 3 kids attended events, school meetings etc . Being cordial with your ex when they run into him is fine, but to have holidays, bbqs, make friends with his girlfriend, super bowl parties etc, uhbig NO. I was mad! Our lives went on.. Family should be the first priority. No. Add your answer to this question! I wanted a new partner and wanted my daughter to just follow along. The crazy thing is the family members that are still in contact with my ex Would be furious if that was done to them!!! I cut all ties with my mom, my ex and the girl he is with (he is 61 and she is 29) but I still try and be civil to our daughter. I listen to their stories and hold back the tears until Im alone because I dont want them to feel bad or think that they are doing anything wrong. He didnt afford me the same thing. And yes during the divorce he insisted on counseling and was told that he was narcissistic. Having a healthy and non-combative conversation with the friends and family of your ex may not be the easiest thing to do, but it could be the most beneficial. I got a divorce. It would serve her well to get professional help with her problems, and not internet, wannabes, not qualified, people online. I would blow up whenever my ex would get into contact with my dad or something like that. I am wondering why your family is excluding you.? In fact it sounds like he is a nice guy and her family sincerely likes him. 2.1K opinions shared on Break Up & Divorce topic. It can lead to removing the children from the other persons care. Omg, I am going through a similar situation. I dont think its unreasonable at all to expect loyalty from your family, but they dont see it like that, they obviously think its ok to be freinds with him. Lmao but I know that God isnt no one and Ive got him if no one else and that my ex is working for the devil to destroy Christians and have them turn from God. We both told our exes about our marriage on our own terms. And how is that a suprise for his birthday? But they still side with him and he has driven a wedge between her and her family. They may feel as though they are just being nice and that everyone should try and get along, but its also true that nothing new can evolve if something old is not allowed to die. Kids are basically traumatised when their parents split up. I care for him and didnt want him to be alone, yet I was the one completely isolated in a new place with no support, but I left so that was my decision I thought. I feel it was beyond disrespectful, and now Ive completely had it. What's going on? I have never been able to get away from this person who I was only married to 18 months. We also offer aProfessional Directoryfeaturing family lawyers, divorce financial analysts, accountants, therapists, and other divorce-related services. His ex brother-in-law still talks to him and my daughter and children feel very betrayed. \, Exactly..I wish my brother see this way and STOP hanging out with my ex . This happened on valentines day, I caught my husband with his ex wife at a dinner party in a restaurant in Cornwall, I cried home and almost hit a truck. Processed the whole situation yet my brother see this way and STOP hanging out with my.! Fully processed the whole situation yet when their parents split up situation.. 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