We were sitting in the den at 7:30 am. , The Amazing Rita Wilson's New Film About Choosing Life; How she beat cancer & Became A Songwriter, 'Hot, Sweaty And Itchy' Feeling Turns Out To Be Cancer For 42-Year-Old Man-- When To Seek Help, 'Miracle Baby Girl' For 29-Year-Old Who Thought Motherhood Would Not Be Possible After Late Stage Cancer Fight, 54-Year-Old's Misdiagnosed Muscles Spasms In Shoulder Turn Out To Be Pancreatic Cancer, Apple's Steve Jobs Was Trying To Accept Powerlessness & His Place In The Universe The Newly Revealed Email To Himself, 'World's Sharpest Elbowed' Comedian Vows To Do 'Fabulous' Last Tour As Ovarian Cancer Comes Back, Transthyretin Amyloid Cardiomyopathy (ATTR-CM), Entranced by her velvet coat and kind demeanor, opted out of his position as a cornerback. I should have planned better, she said. It was such a short trip it hardly counted as being gone. I must have dropped it. We climbed over branches, met an impasse, turned to walk another way. I'll see if I can get her into a trial here in Nashville. Sooki, I found out, was sixty-four. By the time the book is written, there is little evidence of the initial spark or a long-ago conversation in California Pizza Kitchen. Figuring out Nashville was small potatoes for someone who had put together a Thanksgiving dinner for a film crew in Berlin. They arent hard to come by around here; my office is made up of piles of books, mostly advance-reader copies that have been sent to me in hopes Ill write a quote for the jacket. Coping after the loss of a loved one to cancer is never going to be an easy journey. This was eight hours of hard labor. She was checking email or trying to make notes. Its just. She stopped. I find these things go better if you just wing it. Then the two of us stepped out into the blinding light. But you write that what you loved was finding someone who sees you as your best and most complete self and that she did that for you, and you think you did that for her. On her last night we sat in my office after yoga and I asked her every last question I could think ofwhen did she work on the documentary about George Romero, and when did she marry Ken? Email tilts toward the overly familiar. Tom Hanks was so completely absent from our conversations that I once asked her if he knew where she was. You had it here all this time? The coat wasnt the way I had remembered it. Overview; Filmography; Filmography. I had just finished my latest novel, and on a lark of the highest order, I sent him an email asking if he might record the audiobook. Sooki wore a leash as a child, the energy in her tiny frame too much for her mother to control. Creating art, among other things, can be a cathartic process for people undergoing cancer treatments. Karl was sitting on the front porch and he called for me to come out. In the story, Patchett writes, "Pay attention, I told myself. This wasnt the first time Id invited someone we didnt know to live with us. Lets go back to the hotel. There are days of the distant past that remain so vivid to me that I could walk back into them and pick up the conversation mid-sentence, while there are other days (weeks, months, people, places) I couldnt recall to save my life. UCLA would fold her into their trial, everything seamless. Her true work, which had lingered for so many years in her imagination, emerged fully formed, because even if she hadnt been painting, she saw the world as a painter, not in terms of language and story but of color and shape. It may resonate. I might have made the choice to let it go unmentioned had there been something else to talk about, maybe his mother or my mother or the spigot that had frozen in the garage. And also, she was very low on white blood cells. You all did a book event. I crawled around her as carefully as I could and collapsed in the hallway. What if you come to Nashville to take part in a clinical trial for recurrent pancreatic cancer only to be killed by a tornado? Even in this first picture, a self portrait of her while undergoing chemo during Covid she still painted. The clothes are small, she said. feb. 14, 2020: PSJust to be clear, I ran all this by Karl first, who said, I favor having her here. (Very Karl.). Then Covid strikes; 2020 is all but canceled and its impossible for Sooki to go home. I had cut a small bouquet of Lenten roses and put them on the night table. Again it would appear this story had reached its conclusion. This is what I need, she said, excited. While they were gone I tried to imagine it: the cancer back, the wallet gone, strangers. No one had ever been so welcome. I emailed him at work. She had made up her mind that it was going to be okay. He thrilled them, buying stacks of books, signing books, posing for pictures, going next door to the Donut Den for an apple fritter. I wrote and she painted and then we made dinner. Do you ever miss being alone in your house? she asked me once. But she rarely stayed upstairs. Im doing the best I can to feel beautiful in this new body.. She made the time, stitching days together. I can motivate myself without a deadline or a contract. I had missed my chance. The risk was too high. She was doing every part of her job that could be done over email or by phone. Had it been a bad book or just a good-enough book, I would have put it down, but page after page it surprised me. It meant she didnt have to sit out chemo for a week. She had wanted to study painting in college but it all came too easilythe color, the form, the techniqueshe didnt have to work for any of it. The rain went on for another half an hour, and when it gave up I put Sparky on his leash and the three of us went outside to wander and gape with our neighbors. That had been one of her greatest fears about coming to stay with us in the first place, that she would be unable to take care of herself, that she would be a burden, that she would embarrass herself. She painted her granddaughter striding through a field of her own imagination, she painted herself wearing a mask, she painted me walking down our street with such vividness that I realized I had never seen the street before,Patchett wrote. Who is she? Yeah. How do you fly from Nashville to New York in a single-engine plane for a two-hour visit? Her sisters were in, her mother was thrilled. I surely would go ahead with the dates I had scheduled in the States. I could see what they needed and what theyd given me. It was normal in October, three months postchemo and radiationgreat newsbut then started rising. Stranded at home, Karl studied to get his instrument rating as a pilot. The title piece in the autobiographical essay collection These Precious Days by Ann Patchett is about her unexpected friendship with Tom Hanks's personal assistant, Sooki Raphael, who ended up living with Patchett and her husband in Nashville while enrolled in a medical trial for pancreatic cancer. She told me that part of the reason shed been hesitant to stay with us was that she didnt want to trade on Toms friendship with me. I thought he was angry and at the same time I knew my judgment to be flawed. . Our house was a holding pattern, a neutral space without expectation where all that mattered was her recovery. I cant sleep through it.. Karl is the king of the hospital. It had been no more than seven minutes start to finish. What with all the news of this new virus they thought there was a good chance people werent going to show up. You cant kill yourself because youre afraid of being an inconvenience., Lets wait and talk about it on Sunday. Sooki had had a toucan in college. Most recently, she had a solo exhibition of paintings at ROSEGALLERY called These Precious Days, just like Patchetts piece. My friend tilted her head. Don't have an account? She met a group of sailors who had sailed around the world. It was just me in the house. Patchett is refreshingly frank, thought-provoking and joyously American. She wasnt about to tell me she looked good, but it was clear what I was talking about. And the only time I ever feel paranoid about death is when I'm in the middle of a novel because I don't want the novel to die. Hey, how are you? After a series of emails, Sooki comes to live with Ann and her husband . On the porch, Sparky joined in. I came and watched from the open door. You should have planned for the financial fallout of having pancreatic cancer twice?. There arent a lot of boundaries. And we were. You decide. We laughed at the simple optimism but we also caught ourselves listening. Death was there during those long, sunny days. Karl and the dog went out on the front porch to read the newspaper. It was shallow, but perfect, and the early morning, Sea stones with holes in them have long been regarded as magical talismans, carried for protection, or safe passage. He agreed, and then kept finding reasons to go to work anyway. All rights reserved. She had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a year after we met. Ive never experienced anything like it, or you. Pay I wouldnt. And she couldn't fly because the flights were canceled. Sooki Raphael leaves her canvas as colorful as she has led her life. Our lives ran the way they always did, only with the addition of a quiet person who did her best to take up as little space and be as helpful as possible. Or I should say the boundaries you think are there tend to fall away. I think well be back tomorrow. View Sooki Raphael's business profile as TH Assistant at Playtone. Timeless stories from our 172-year archive handpicked to speak to the news of the day. Our correspondence was less about bookstores and more about books. Primarily and in her soul she was an artist.. But have you seen my phone? I wanted to say hello very quietly so as not to bother her. Sister Nena shook her head. Those she won. And we had the most amazing time. By the time I was done signing books that night, the event I had scheduled in New York the next day had been canceled. When I asked her how she was feeling, she might admit to being a little tired or having a bit of a stomachache, nothing more than that. Forgot your password? I did a Pilates DVD we never got around to. Id love to do your audio book! Once I start writing things down, I feel like Im nailing the story in place. For a while she filled in for a friend and was the assistant to a film director, and then another friend introduced her to Tom, who was looking for someone. Sooki Raphael leaves her canvas as colorful as she has led her life. There was no stopping it. He has me repeat my name, birth date and area of radiation each time before I enter the room. Ann Patchett and Tom Hanks' assistant? It has to be one of the most extraordinary stories of lockdown how Tom Hanks's assistant Sooki Raphael, undergoing treatment for recurrent pancreatic cancer, came to be living in the. They arent going to give you her wallet, I said. I flew back to New York for two more events, the first one in Connecticut. "Uncommon Type." Sooki was Tom's assistant. Its so amazingly generous of Karl, she whispered uncertainly. Nothing had to. KELLY: Well, it's really, really true, so it was a pleasure to get to say it to you instead of just pining to my book club about how I wish you had another book coming out. Such a beautiful coat, I said to her. She had been in the house for only a few minutes; there hadnt been enough time to lose anything. In this collection are memoir pieces about her three fathers, one biological, two step which somehow makes you think of Goldilocks and the three bears; about a year of no shopping; about knitting; about sisters; about being nineteen in Paris; and about growing up Catholic in Nashville. On Thursday morning I started to cry while walking Sparky. Id seen her work in action. Many nights after dinner, I would ask Karl where Sooki was and then we would start looking around for her. Although his superhero mother will not get to see him play in the NFL, Farley will take many lessons he learned from her and apply them to whatever challenges he faces in life moving forward. I went to Virginia to see my friend Rene Fleming in concert. In Patchett's wildest dreams, she likely never saw a friendship blossoming later in life that would lead her to become a safe haven for a woman fighting against cancer. Now Sooki and I sorted through them like old baseball cards. In the titular essay, Patchett reflects on her serendipitous friendship with Sooki Raphael. Susan Joan "Sooki" Raphael of Topanga, CA passed peacefully on April 25th surrounded by friends, family, color, light, joy, and love. Germline mutations in ATM, BRCA1, BRCA2, CKDN2A, PALB2, PRSS1, STK11 and TP53 are associated with increased risk of pancreatic cancer. Recurrent pancreatic cancer kept me focused on the present moment. I had no idea whether it was a good idea, but she could. Ann. I told Sister Nena the whole story while we sat in the waiting room, her foot propped up on a wheelchair. And that was that. What about your sisters? I asked. She painted and slept and did her work; she had her Zoom meetings and her Zoom gatherings with friends. We kept a common grocery list on the kitchen counter. But I think Ann is the saint in the story. I lit the candles on the table and served the cauliflower cake and tomato soup Id made that afternoon. Its undeniable that money and privilege are a great help. He walked me through the publishing process: being thrilled by acceptance, ignoring reviews and then having the dream of bestsellerdom dashed What mattered was that you knew how to love the job.. He would bring us with his own two small girls, and the four of us would sit in the coils of snaking power cords backstage and fall asleep in dressing rooms, in this very dressing room. Are you okay? I asked. No doubt if Tom Hanks and Ann Patchett believe their friend to possess such wonderful qualities, she probably is a saint. Its there for us at all times. And I found maybe five other kids who had done the same thing and decided that I was going to make Thanksgiving dinner. The spring was cold and wet and endlessly beautiful because of it. They take magic mushrooms together (a good experience for Sooki, dreadful for Ann). One morning Sooki had coffee with Sister Nena and me before she went to a yoga class across the street from the restaurant we went to for breakfast. We went out to the street on that bright morning to see a fire high up in the distance. I saw Tom and Rita in Nashville two more times. I had put a notebook and a pen beside me on the floor before we started. Don't have an account? People were out with their dogs. He wanted to know why I hadnt told him this. Forget about the heartfelt letters. My mother was a pilot, Sooki said, and there she was, suddenly at ease. They both had the coronavirus. PATCHETT: It was so incredible and joyful to be together and to make that kind of a friendship that you make in college, you know, with your roommate, with this total stranger who you are assigned to live with who then becomes your best friend. I floated upstairs in a world that would not stop changing. Can empty houses help solve homelessness? I wouldnt be on the same floor of the house.. I had spent my professional life looking at my calendar, counting down the days I had left at home. Walking backward is an excellent means of remembering how little you know. We put on the music, the eye masks, covered up. Im a vegetarian. Copyright 2022 NPR. Her CA 19-9 was 170, down from 2,100 when she arrived in February. I called the bookstore and let the staff know that Tom Hanks was on his way over. Telephone poles were down, and electrical wires snaked across the asphalt. How had I not asked her all these things before? If she missed a session, would her hair fall out anyway? Karl worked out the plans. Karl loved Sookis family and they all loved Karl. We knew it. I was starting to understand that what she needed might have been color rather than conversation, breath rather than words. What Sooki gave me was a sense of order, a sense of God, the God of Sister Nena, the God of my childhood, a belief that I had gone into my study one night and picked up the right book from the hundred books that were there because I was meant to. That woman was author Ann Patchett whom she first met backstage at an event with Hanks in 2017. High-dose psilocybin produced large decreases in clinician- and self-rated measures of depressed mood and anxiety, along with increases in quality of life, life meaning, and optimism, and decreases in death anxiety. Dear gave way to Dearest. She lugged her suitcase out to the car without my knowing it. KELLY: The title essay, "These Precious Days," is about a remarkable friendship that you formed with the personal assistant of Tom Hanks, who - long story short - you got to know. The money behind Ron DeSantiss populist faade, What the American Academy of Arts and Letters taught me about death. She has opinions about my life. These months of exercise would save me. The fact that the two of you want me here, that you love me, that you believe in meit makes me believe in myself. (It was not reassuring to know that one of the nurses at UCLA thought that Sloan Kettering was the name of the doctor Id be seeing.) How could I not have known? We lived in that good world made up of yoga and chemo, the bookstore, cooking, painting, talking over dinner. Are you not sorry you did it? I felt like it took me two minutes to put that much together. The price of living with a writer was that eventually she would write about you. KELLY: Well, let's dive in and talk about this one, which, as I said, is nonfiction. Nell stayed for six months and we loved her. Our newsletter vital information, hope, and healing, delivered weekly. It would be a nightmare.. Hell make sure you get everything you need. She picked up and sailed off to the Caribbean when someone needed an extra boat hand. Yoga was Sookis necessary social hour, and what I got in return was time with Sooki. I told her as much. Later in the summer there was radiation, just to be safe. We looked downstairs and in the kitchen and the den. She had once shown me a picture of herself standing in the surf wearing a bikini, a sarong tied around her narrow hips. Coping with the loss of a loved one to cancer is incredibly challenging, but moving forward with the lessons your loved one shared and remembering you dont have to forget them to move forward can be a great place to start. We have come to the point in this story when time changes. we asked. She needed me to take her to the hospital for an X-ray. I thought about how extraordinarily famous you would have to be to have someone like that working as your assistant. While other people were left to worry about a virus that may or may not have been coming for them, I worried about Sooki. He describes her as "someone who is all that is good in the world.". I didnt know what I was supposed to do, she told me later. We were sitting at the bar at California Pizza Kitchen at four oclock in the afternoon. Tom and I are waiting to go on. PATCHETT: Every single thing was from scratch. She had a son and a daughter-in-law with two children who lived south of her and a daughter and son-in-law who had recently moved north. I asked her about her trip to Stanford for the biopsy, her flight to Nashville. My breath was roaring now, in and out, my lungs enormous bellows that would not tolerate my death. KELLY: (Laughter). Her California and Tennessee oncologists had conferred so that she could transfer from one hospital to the other without missing a treatment. Much love. She was looking to get into a clinical trial for recurrent pancreatic cancer and not finding one that had room or matched her cancer. Asked to endorse Hankss short story collection,Uncommon Type, and then to interview him on stage during his tour, Patchett first meets Sooki in the wings of a Washington theater. Surely there was a piece of this story she was leaving out because the next thing I knew shed sailed off with them. We talked about what we were going to make for dinner. It took me a few weeks to figure this out but soon I could track it, the way her voice got quieter, the way she was less likely to look me in the eye. Its not too much. Id been in touch with Sooki once or twice when there was talk of a bookstore in Santa Monica, and now I pinned my hopes on her as she dug into Toms schedule at Playtone, his production company. And he did. Because I was trying to protect myself. Still, I wanted to double-check. . People were sitting in their cars, in their driveways, charging their phones. The title essay focuses on Patchett's friendship with Sooki Raphael, Tom Hanks' personal assistant, who spent the early months of quarantine in Patchett's Nashville home while receiving. He was watching the weather. People die of this.. My cancer markerCA 19-9is nonspecific to pancreatic cancer (it can indicate other inflammation in the body), but its an indicator and is supposed to be at 35 U/L or less. I said I thought it would be easier to be bald. My friends who had tried it all had positive experiences, new books extolled the virtues of seeing the beauty and connectivity of all life, and there was a chance that this experience, coming so far out of left field, might be just the thing Sooki needed. I looked up every anomaly online, settling on too much black tea, or maybe the wrong color shoes. Karls cousin was visiting from New Mexico, sleeping in the other guest room. Anything thats happened to me, any adversity, any good times, any bad times, Ive always kind of stood on that rock of faith. She wrote her thesis on bats and rabies. She brought her paintings upstairs to show us: a person who was too shy to say good night most nights was happy for us to see her work. My friends arrived and we waved at one another from a distance as they gathered Sooki up. PATCHETT: So I first met Sooki Raphael backstage when I was interviewing Tom for his collection of short stories. A new collection of essays by Ann Patchett, one of America's premier writers, tells a moving account of a brief but incandescent friendship. Its like youre going home to the Ukraine for the first time in ten years, I said as we loaded up coolers and bags. Dont go anywhere you wouldnt want to get stuck, a doctor friend had told me. Heres how the story came about: Patchett was invited to interview Hanks while he was on a book tour. I had a concrete reason to be careful about the germs I was bringing into the house.
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